So, if you don't know about my London Marathon place by now you really must have been hiding under a stone. I knew I had the place back in October, but since January I've been eating, sleeping and breathiing it. I don't really think/talk about much else and there is only one reason for this at the moment: panic.
See, I don't really like running. Well, sometimes I do. You can have awesome runs that make you feel strong and full of life. But you can also have Hell-runs that stay with you for weeks, months, or in my case, years. This time last year I was training for the Wilmslow Half Marathon and decided to toddle off up the Middlewood Way because it's a trail (so soft-going), it's flat and it seemed like an ideal route. Wrong! It took me two miles to warm up; it was like the Somme and I nearly lost my tainers a few times to deep, sucking mud pools; it was definitely flat but that can also mean boring and unchanging. The husband had dropped me off and was coming back to pick me up and this just left me feeling abandoned and miserable. I'd aimed for 8 miles and I got them, the last four being run into an incredibly strong headwind. I'd started crying quater of a mile before I finished and couldn't breathe - it was that horrible an experience. Now, every time I head out for a long run I first have to trample the fear that I will have another run like that. The bizarre thing is that I haven't had a run that bad since, so maybe it's time to let it go and appreciate what I learned from it. And I did learn from it. I learned that sometimes it's better to cut your losses, call it a day and try again some other time. But I also learned that I've got reserves of stubborness to draw on that mules would envy.
Aside from Hell runs, routes have been plaguing me this week. I'm not thinking straight. Literally. I seem obsessed with trying to make circular routes fit the number of miles I'm meant to run but actually the easiest thing to do is run out for half the distance, then run back! I am so anxious that logic is escaping me. It's easier at the weekends because I can run in daylight and if I have to run along the road for lack of a path it's not the end of the world. Running on dark nights is a different matter though, and I prefer to try to stick to pavements with street lighting. However, note to Cheshire East council: I want a rebate on my Council Tax because with the state of some of the pavements in Wilmslow I'd be better off navigating a ploughed field. Anyway, I'm getting there.
Today was my second long run of training: 11 miles. I'm really pleased with how it went as last Sunday I ran 9 miles and my quads were mashed for pretty much the rest of the week. My old foe panic was to blame here too: lying awake at 5.30am on Thursday morning I realised that last year I would never have contemplated running for 90 minutes without taking on some kind of fuel. This had completely escaped me and I'd just been out there with my bottle of Lucozade Lite! I'd also forgotten to have porridge for breakfast, which is a cardinal sin for me. I was armed with a couple of carb gels today and, though my legs were tired, the fatigue was nothing like last week's and hopefully the recovery time will be much shorter. Carb gels taste like shit though.
Heading into Week 3 of the training plan I feel more optimnistic. It does take a little while to hit your stride (forgive the pun) and to get your training routine in order. You forget that routine isn't about when to run and how far, but that it's about correct fuelling, clothing, routes and all the other little bits and pieces that go into successful training. I think I've got my head back in the zone now.
If you are wondering why this first blog is titled Week 2 it's because there wasn't a Week 1. I skipped it. My confidence is obviously hiding somewhere... just got to dig a bit deeper to find it in the coming weeks.
I AM RUNNING THE VIRGIN LONDON MARATHON 2012 TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE NSPCC. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPONSOR ME PLEASE VISIT MY JUST GIVING PAGE:
http://www.justgiving.com/Catherine-Simpson2
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